It wasn’t long before my older children came into the room to greet their new baby sister. I looked around the bed and saw four faces, my husband and our three children. How would we all cope with this new addition? At the time, it wasn’t an issue. We all took turns staring, in awe, at little Leela.
The third stage of labor was very emotional. I got very hot and flooded with what can only be described as a wash of Red. I felt the color red saturating my body as the Along with the placenta came another very curious package. My husband exclaimed, “Oh. Whoa! It’s the other baby”. I was terrified in that moment. My emotions peaked. I almost wanted to run away from the room to take a moment to gather myself. I told him to take it away. I wasn’t able to bring myself to look closer at the mysterious object for almost 2 weeks.
Caring for three children as a work at home mom proved to be very difficult. My husband went back to his job immediately after little Leela was born. I was losing my “birth glow” and settling into long nights of nursing a newborn. I knew better than to put off eating or encapsulating my placenta. However, the mysterious package that was in the bag along with the placenta in the freezer had me terrified. Had there been another fetus? My husband and I just didn’t have time to think about the baby that could have been. We certainly didn’t talk about it. Something inside of me didn’t want to know any more about it... I wanted to ignore it until I started feeling more stable. I was physically and emotionally tired.